Friday, October 09, 2009
Two Tips for Curing the "Trailing So..."
Americans find the word "whatever" annoying.
They find it way more annoying than the phrase "you know" and "it is what it is."
This factoid comes courtesy of USA Today, as quoted in a recent Marist Poll.
Really?
As for me, I have trouble with another pervasive verbal tic.
I call it "The Trailing So."
You might hear "The Trailing So..." in interviews and Q&A sessions. Someone asks a question. The subject answers, but instead of ending the sentence in a period, he or she ends with "so..."
You can actually hear the ellipses after the trailing so! For example:
How to cure the trailing so. The first step to finding a cure for the trailing so is to become aware of it. If you find yourself ending a sentence in a trailing so, there are two common situations for why you might have let this verbal tic slip.
1. Habitual Offender. If you find that you're a repeat "trailing so" offender, it's likely that you have become accustomed to hearing it, and unconsciously let this sloppy habit slip into your vernacular. You'll do well to take a moment or two to think through your answer to completion before activating your voice. Taking these silent moments can make you look more thoughtful and reflective. It sure beats babbling around in circles while you try to figure out how you're going to end your statement!
2. Bored or Tired. Let's say you're giving an answer, and find to your horror, that you've ended with a trailing so. This is so unlike you, and you're mortified! You may have done so because you lost interest in your own idea halfway through your statement. Or you may simply be exhausted. At this point, snap awake and firmly state this phrase "Let me summarize!" After you say, "Let me summarize" - quickly and strongly finish your statement as quickly as possible.
For example, "Hawaii is great - beautiful weather. I like the change of seasons in Michigan, though. So...Let me summarize! I'm enjoying the difference!"
The best cure, of course, is to be aware of the trailing so -- and to avoid it by thinking through your statement before speaking.
What's your cure for pervasive verbal tics you find annoying?
Americans find the word "whatever" annoying.
They find it way more annoying than the phrase "you know" and "it is what it is."
This factoid comes courtesy of USA Today, as quoted in a recent Marist Poll.
Really?
As for me, I have trouble with another pervasive verbal tic.
I call it "The Trailing So."
You might hear "The Trailing So..." in interviews and Q&A sessions. Someone asks a question. The subject answers, but instead of ending the sentence in a period, he or she ends with "so..."You can actually hear the ellipses after the trailing so! For example:
Question: "How did it feel to come back to Michigan after living in Hawaii?"The "trailing so" signals a weak answer, or that the interviewee is too bored to complete the thought to a satisfying conclusion. It's often a sign that the mouth has started chattering before the brain has had time to think through the answer!
Answer: "Hawaii is great - beautiful weather. I like the change of seasons in Michigan, though. So..."
How to cure the trailing so. The first step to finding a cure for the trailing so is to become aware of it. If you find yourself ending a sentence in a trailing so, there are two common situations for why you might have let this verbal tic slip.
1. Habitual Offender. If you find that you're a repeat "trailing so" offender, it's likely that you have become accustomed to hearing it, and unconsciously let this sloppy habit slip into your vernacular. You'll do well to take a moment or two to think through your answer to completion before activating your voice. Taking these silent moments can make you look more thoughtful and reflective. It sure beats babbling around in circles while you try to figure out how you're going to end your statement!
2. Bored or Tired. Let's say you're giving an answer, and find to your horror, that you've ended with a trailing so. This is so unlike you, and you're mortified! You may have done so because you lost interest in your own idea halfway through your statement. Or you may simply be exhausted. At this point, snap awake and firmly state this phrase "Let me summarize!" After you say, "Let me summarize" - quickly and strongly finish your statement as quickly as possible.
For example, "Hawaii is great - beautiful weather. I like the change of seasons in Michigan, though. So...Let me summarize! I'm enjoying the difference!"
The best cure, of course, is to be aware of the trailing so -- and to avoid it by thinking through your statement before speaking.
What's your cure for pervasive verbal tics you find annoying?
Labels: Presentation
¶ 10/09/2009 03:03:00 PM
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What I really notice -- and find annoying, even though I'm fighting it myself -- is the leading so. The speaker gets up and starts, "So, what do you think of ...?" or "So, I'd like to explain today..."
Good post!
One further tip: A friend who works as a teacher cures her students of this habit by interjecting a pun finish -- "a button on your underwear!" -- after they trail off a "so..."
It's just annoying enough to be effective.
(Of course, this begs the questions: 1) underwear has buttons? 2) people still sew? 3) today's teens will either comprehend or care?)
One further tip: A friend who works as a teacher cures her students of this habit by interjecting a pun finish -- "a button on your underwear!" -- after they trail off a "so..."
It's just annoying enough to be effective.
(Of course, this begs the questions: 1) underwear has buttons? 2) people still sew? 3) today's teens will either comprehend or care?)
We need to eradicate "so" and "like" and "umm" and "ahh"... I think it comes down to being aware of your own verbal tics and replacing them with silence.
I make myself run a mile for everytime I say "umm" or "ahh" during a presentation.
Just kidding. But I truly believe the only way to get an unbiased perspective on how you present is to record and playback a presentation. Seeing the way you move and hearing the way you talk can be extremely helpful in curing some bad habits. Granted, it's really awkward and painful to watch yourself, but the pros outweigh the cons.
Just kidding. But I truly believe the only way to get an unbiased perspective on how you present is to record and playback a presentation. Seeing the way you move and hearing the way you talk can be extremely helpful in curing some bad habits. Granted, it's really awkward and painful to watch yourself, but the pros outweigh the cons.
So, Ellen... how much does the leading so bug you? ;)
Emily: ahh, buttoned underwear. So inconvenient & lumpy! Thanks goodness for the technological advances of elastic.
And, ah, watching, um, myself on video is, er, cringe worthy -- but Jon is right -- it increases awareness of "tics I need to fix!"
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Emily: ahh, buttoned underwear. So inconvenient & lumpy! Thanks goodness for the technological advances of elastic.
And, ah, watching, um, myself on video is, er, cringe worthy -- but Jon is right -- it increases awareness of "tics I need to fix!"
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